There are so many places that are actually Schools. There are so many messages that are actually lessons — if we are open and willing to be students.
In addition to being a therapist and life coach, I am also a theatrical improviser. I play pretend on stage every other weekend or so, coach a team, and am training to teach improv at a local theatre. It’s a big part of my life, and the longer I practice, the more I see improv lessons as life lessons.
One of the biggies that I want to talk about here falls under the category of relationship building. I don’t talk a lot about interpersonal relationships. I tend to focus on individual growth and transformation, but it’s important to note that, I believe our growth and transformation always happens both internally and within close relationships. We are constantly in contact with other humans. Some of those relationships are just more intimate than others. Improv has a lot to say about how to build a relationship, and one of those keys is something that many of my clients over the years have lacked.
Here it is. It’s a biggy.
Speak your Feels.
Yeah.
Communicate your emotions.
Get Real.
Can improv exist without this key. Well, yes. Sort of. But the scene that you’re watching will turn really plotty or really jokey in short order You’ll see a scene about the weather, and there will be very little depth. You might see something funny, but the scene won’t go very far.
The same is true in relationships — especially those relationships we might consider intimate — whether it’s a marriage or partnership, friendship, or family connection. Think I’m lying? I promise I’m not.
When we don’t communicate from our hearts, or speak our feelings, what do we do? We talk about things. We talk about the weather, the groceries, the fact that the coffee is cold. We talk on the surface, and the relationship never goes deep. How could it?
But here’s the thing, and I think this is true on stage too — Feelings are much scarier than the weather. Why? Because they are ours. Even if we’re in character in a scene, feelings come from inside us. The weather, groceries, and even coffee are shallow, and more importantly, they are…
